Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
