Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize