he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
