Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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