I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize