Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My life is pants optional.
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