Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
