he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
