Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
