The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just had sex on a roof
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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