omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
