woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
