I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize