the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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