at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
