Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
