It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
