Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
