Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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