just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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