I want to make a zoo with you.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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