I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
