That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
