im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
