All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
