They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Damn victory sex feels great
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
