Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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