you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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