singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
