Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
