So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
