handjob tips. give me some.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
