Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
