I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
a search helicopter?!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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