WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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