he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
