Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
