Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
