Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
