Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
