Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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