He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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