i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
