I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
