"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
