worst night to have a conscience
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize