No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
