No awkward lesbian experiences without me
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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