I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
