I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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