So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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