try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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