remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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