Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I supernannyed him into submission
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
