I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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