i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You ruined the universe
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
