Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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