At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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