Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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