chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
