My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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